In Loving Memory of Mary L. Bahr (1954–2026)
Published March 19, 2026 11:43PM EST
The following excerpt is from Bahr’s official obituary:
Mary L. Bahr of Baltimore, Maryland, passed away on Sunday, March 8, 2026, surrounded by family and friends following a stroke earlier that week. She is survived by her partner of 37 years, Donna DiStefano, along with her siblings Ann Bahr, Susan Nolan, and John Bahr.
Born April 17, 1954 in Greenford, OH, Mary was a graduate of South Range High School, Kent State University, and University College at the University of Maryland. She worked at the National Endowment for the Arts, Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, DC, and the Maryland Department of Health.
As a trumpet player, Mary was one of the original members of D.C.’s Different Drummers, the LGBTQ+ band of Washington, DC, and performed with the group for nearly 30 years. She was also a member of Stafford Street Sisters, an Arlington, VA all women’s jazz band in the early 1990s.
via The Rainbow History Project, a 1998 flyer for the Gay Women’s Alternative annual spring cotillian, featuring the all-woman jazz band the Stafford Street Sisters
Mary was a founding member and served as the first president of the Lesbian and Gay Bands of America (LGBA), now Pride Bands Alliance, an international network of LGBTQ+ and affirming community bands. She was instrumental in major national events for LGBA including the 1984 “Gay Night at the Hollywood Bowl,” the 1987 “Let Freedom Ring” concert, and LGBA’s participation in the 1987 March on Washington. She is a 2019 recipient of the Pride Bands Alliance Pillar of Pride award for her extraordinary accomplishments, service and contributions to the organization.
Contributions in Mary’s honor may be sent through this link. Funds will be directed to the Pride Bands Alliance participation in the Tournament of Roses Parade on January 1, 2027. When donating, please make a note that your contribution is in memory of Mary Bahr.
A celebration of life service will be held at a future date.
Bahr’s 2019 Pillar of Pride award nomination can be viewed on the Pride Bands Alliance Website.